If I forced you to do something, would that make you want to do it?

It’s been a while since I emailed you, but I had an idea I wanted to share with you.

Many times we force our teens to do things we want, but does that really make them want it? Like, if you forced a teen to dress a certain way, will they want to dress that way? If you force them to learn, will they now want to learn? If you force them to get the haircut that we want, do they want the haircut? If you make them behave a certain way, do they want to behave that way?

You get my point.

Instead, what if we put all our energy into building a relationship with them, spending time with them and getting to know them? Let them decide on their own haircut, and build a relationship so strong that they want to behave the way we want them to? Show them how much you love learning and let them know that they are always welcome to join?

Wouldn’t that have a longer lasting effect? And wouldn’t it be easier and more enjoyable for both of us?

If I forced you to do something, would that make you want to do it?

It’s been a while since I emailed you, but I had an idea I wanted to share with you.

Many times we force our teens to do things we want, but does that really make them want it? Like, if you forced a teen to dress a certain way, will they want to dress that way? If you force them to learn, will they now want to learn? If you force them to get the haircut that we want, do they want the haircut? If you make them behave a certain way, do they want to behave that way?

You get my point.

Instead, what if we put all our energy into building a relationship with them, spending time with them and getting to know them? Let them decide on their own haircut, and build a relationship so strong that they want to behave the way we want them to? Show them how much you love learning and let them know that they are always welcome to join?

Wouldn’t that have a longer lasting effect? And wouldn’t it be easier and more enjoyable for both of us?