“Who do you think you are to tell me what to do?”

Did you ever hear that from your child? Maybe your teenager?

There is a hidden message behind that and I’ll tell you what it means, but first…

Before Moshe Rabeinu passed away, he called all the Jews together and rebuked them for the 40 years of being “stubborn” and going against Hashem. 

Why did he wait until his last days? Why didn’t he say anything all those years?

Simple…

He had promised to bring them into the holy land of Israel, and he didn’t. So he waited 40 years until he started conquering the land and gave them something concrete, then he was able to rebuke them.

When a child tells you, “Who do you think you are?” what they really mean to say is: “I don’t feel that you gave me enough!” or “I don’t feel like you love me enough to tell me what to do.”

It’s like a bank account: if you want to make a withdrawal, you need to deposit money into the account first. If you don’t make any deposits, you won’t have any money to withdraw! 

If you want to criticize a child and tell them that they are doing something wrong, you need to first make “deposits” of positivity and praise. When you make enough “deposits”, it’s easier for the child to listen to and accept their mistakes.

BTW, the same is true with your spouse…